One for 2012...

Well, I was looking at my blog, and realized I better put one in for 2012. Especially since I had only one entry in the whole of 2011! Writing is a muse I miss a lot. Only when you write, you have the total freedom of creating your own world. When you are authoring, you are god-like! The creatures and personalities you ink are at your whim and fancy. You can make your writing sombre, or fun. It's like you have Potter's wand, and all you need to do is wave. Voila, pictures in your mind becomes words right in front of you. 

I was watching the badminton finals. Lee Chong Wei v Lin Dan. They were trading shot for shot in the last set that it all came down to two of the greatest players, and one being luckier. Good match. Not so good outcome. Well, it is still a major achievement, and the way Chong Wei handled himself is exemplary. A big step for a little nation.

I also watched Usain bolting to his second gold at 9.63 seconds. A new Olympic Record. How he does it so effortlessly is amazing. 

The Olympics is a big part of 2012, so I though I'd share a bit. Meanwhile, we're still waiting for an election. I am not sure if it's worth mentioning, but we actually don't have a Prime Minister - Elect right now. He kinda inherited the seat. So it will be really interesting to watch the General Election unfold. 

Billions are being given away. Policies and laws are amended. As the rulers ship their shop to order, getting reading to ride the waves of the public votes. I wonder if it will work? Or will it all be for naught? Well, the Election may well be next year, so best to enjoy the current views. 

That's it. Made an entry for the year. Maybe, I'll write more. I really should. It is depressingly therapeutic.

9/11/01 to 9/11/11

A decade after...

Most of us could remember the exact moment when we watched the towers crumbled. Most of us. Some of us, doubt it happened. Some of us belief that it was all a conspiracy. It matters not. You cannot hide the fact that almost 3,000 souls lost their life that day. Some of them right if front of us. On television. As they fell off the towers.

Hate, begets hate.

As we seek for the truth, often we overlook the fact that the truth is only true in the eyes of the beholder. As we continue to seek those that sets us apart, we overlook the fact that we are a part of what we seek. The lies that we all hear, are often the truth that we seek comfort in. We are the problem, and we too are the solution. The world has never been peaceful. Not for long anyway.

Peace on earth.

Peace on earth, perhaps belong only to earthworms after it rains. Human-kind are often neither human nor kind. We kill each other in the name of a god that we exchange for currencies, and we slay in names of countries we defend, and ask not whether it wants to be defended upon. We preach in the open, and we pitch in the dark. Deals are made as territories are divided. Kings are hanged, as countries are framed.

A decade later...

It will be more of the same. As bankrupted nations wage war, to sell what they sell best. Stories and tales of horror, in the name of defending against terror, which are shadows they craft as they weave it cloak and dagger. People will die. In the name of human-kind. As they seek humanity, in their own kind. While they proclaim profanity, on anyone of a different mind. Time shall take its toll. And the earth is no longer worth a stroll. For its beyond man nor its kind. As shelter is sought in dogmatic lies and corrupted cronies, in countries that sells stories in return for a place in history.

9/11 isn't just sad because many died. It is also sad because no one learned that it was hate that started it, and hatred too will not end it.

On guard!

Just feeling lousy, since for the hundredth time I argue with the guard to my place, which I find ironic. We hired the guards to protect our property, and in return, the same guard makes it difficult for us to come home to our own property. Weird.

My trial entry from the iPhone

This is just a test entry to see if this works. Not the greatest way to blog but it's pretty decent.

In pain with no gain

Sometimes in life we do foolish things. Well, perhaps more then sometimes. But, there are times when you really screw things up. And I mean really, really screw things up. I think I just did. I don't know how (but actually I did), I didn't know when (but actually I did), and I didn't know what would have happened if I did what I did (but actually I did). Alas, I did it anyway.

Today, I am feeling this gnawing pain. Rumbling deep in me. This feeling that I cannot, simply cannot shake. You know that feeling. The feeling of abandonment so bad, that you feel that the whole world has just went by you, and you are this insignificant little gnat. The feeling that one would wish that one never started something, that simply could not have an ending. Yes, this feeling often involves members of the opposite sex, either leaving you or leaving whatever it was that you had. Or didn't have. This feeling of inadequacy. This feeling of being dumped.

The single biggest pain of being a zed is the fact that the dichotomy of whom he is, and whom he has to be is so big that it would make Dr. Jekyll proud. I wonder if I can keep doing this. Keep this inner storm lying low and calm, while it brews within me not unlike a tsunami in waiting. The pain of having to swallow so much pride in a day, simply because of the walks of life, when all you want to do is shove everything back where it belongs (usually up a poor fella's rear end). I doubt this satirical lie can persist. I doubt that who I am, and whom I am being could coexist for very long. The stretch on sanity has taken its toll. My foolishness is making me inept.

Yes, I am quite convince now that I often write when misery visits. This time, I am also quite sure that this string of words and letters shall persists. Thanks to this blog, I am at least able to visit a side of me that for now lies dormant. While names and places are often missing, but hey the drama is the drama. String a few sonnets of lies in the rhythm of truth, everything is melodious.

I don't know. I say this a lot. And absolutely hates anyone who says I don't know. So often I do hate me. I would like to think that I should have known better. And often I do. We all do. Yet, down the slippery slope we go. Playing with fire. Fire that will consume.

And all we have to show for our pain... is more pain.

A new frontier

A long lost friend.

That is how this blog feels. It has been so long, yet everything seems so familiar when you get back in touch. All the nooks and crannies in the same places. All the idiosyncrasies right where they belong. I was commenting to a friend that I wasn't sure if I write better when I am depressed, or is it the act of writing that is making me depressed. Well, we'll find out soon enough.

Life has been a blessing these last few years. As everyone would say - so much has happened. Indeed. I have learned a lot, and perhaps it would even be fair to say that I am perhaps no longer the same person. I have been on the wagon for a while now. Alas, a small sacrifice compared to what I get to enjoy in return. Otherwise, I have also not been able to hang out as much. Age, job, and everything else is catching up.

So here I am.

This time, I hope to stay longer. To explore more words. More stories to be told. Much emotions to share. As always, I write simply because I find it fun. I only hope it is equally fun to read. Meanwhile, let's talk a bit about my favorite subject. Me.

I have been in several companies, started one, and am now running one. All in all, I can safely say that a good company is nothing more then a group of people driven to be the best they can. It is when the people within, makes a product that one can't do without - that a company thrives. It has been fun to develop this value. To use emotions like fear, hope, and shame to keep the ship in shape and ultimately to share the feeling that nothing is impossible if we all put our minds to it. I am dabbling in a few things nowadays. Sometimes, keeping my head above water is tough, but it is fun. Thrashing away learning how to swim is my life story.

It is time for me to stop. But only for now. We shall meet again. Soon. I hope.

Welcome MacBook Pro! And tightening of the belt...

Yup! My MacBook Pro has arrived. 

Biggest plus points?

1. The 15.4in screen and its graphics quality. The additional real-estate on the screen helps a lot!

2. The keyboard, it's so much better then the MacBook chicklets.

3. Backlighted keyboard, a nice feature to have when working on my bed (as-if!)

4. 250GB of storage! I was down to my last 15GB on my 120GB MacBook.

5. Not having to worry about a white keypad and palm-rest. Silver is the way to go.

6. The speakers sounds so much better.

Some minus points?

1. Naaaaaah... there's none! LOL.

Beyond my fetish for gadgets, not much is getting my attention nowadays. With my project about two months away to going live, the hustle and bustle of work seems to have drowned into a constant buzz, and no matter how crazy things are, I feel like I have achieved zen at work. Serenity surrounds calamity. I am at home in this chaos. In fact perhaps I actually need it. It's my fix to this predictable grind we all live in. 

I just got back from a trip down under, where we spent a week at Gold Coast, and what can I say? It was f-u-n! Away from it all, with our only worry being what ride to be on next, or where to go as every second is precious. The way I see it, life is good, only when it is good. Best to enjoy it while you can. The next drama, the next disaster are all just around the corner. 

So, how about the oil prices? Well, this blogger has only one opinion. It's global, it's everyone, and it's everywhere - stop blaming the government and start figuring out what to do next. Things are going to get bad, before it gets worst! It is inevitable, and no one knows how to fix it yet. In fact, no one seems to know what to fix even. It is just a big problem with a shadowy list of symptoms with no real head. So before things get worst, stop spending and start saving. Fast.  

Stretch the Ringgit, and yes, share the pea!

Poetry in Motion

Yes. Coming soon to a boy named Zed. The final toy that shall make the whole set complete. Coupled with the rest that Steve Jobs has to offer, this shall make the ride worth the traffic (literally!).

A big, big milestone to cross, but one that was definitely worth every step, every single drop of sweat and blood, and the undying cries of agony. A little bit dramatic, albeit when one reflects this to some extend is what it is all about after all. Worldly goods. Only the best, for the best.

So much for all the drama. I figured that since there isn't much to dwell on (or even write on!), I might as well share some thoughts on the next toy. I wonder if anyone is reading this stuff anymore heh heh.  Sheer driving pleasure, here I cometh.

TGIF

I have recovered. I feel good. Life is good. All is well. This feeling is precious!

I don't know, perhaps it's the knowing that it is the end of a long productive week, when all that could have been done is done and you feel satisfied that you've given it all you can. Or perhaps, it is that there were some nice good news here and there. All of which makes me a very happy man.

The journey continues. All I can feel is thankful, Alhamdullilah.

It's official. I need a break!

According to my iPod and Nike I ran a total of 330 km since February 2008. My top speed for a kilometer is 5.36 minutes per kilometer. The result is not great relative to the record holders on the Nike website, but compared to what I was able to do four months ago, heck it's amazing! Anyway, having lost about 6 kilograms and being able to now fit into my skinny pants - I should feel much better eh? Nope. I don't. 

This is when I concluded  what I really need to do. I need to get away from it all for a while. A long while. The drone and drudgery of the daily routine has taken a toll on me that I can no longer bear. You see the price one pays for being a "leader" is you really run out of people that you can bitch about work. I have about 50 "resources" reporting to me. That means 50 different type of problems I get to listen to. 50 different wants and needs. 50 different ways to motivate. Alas, 50 faces that is amalgamating into one big noisy crowd. I am no longer able to care. This is when I realized that perhaps enough is enough. 

So. Yours truly am now trying to invent a way out for a while. I haven't really figured it out yet, but I am sure I will be able to come out with something. A week off sounds good. I am sure with or without me life goes on. So it is time to put on the sandals, hang around the pool, read a good book, and just watch the days go by for a while.

Meanwhile, I shall have to endure a few more days of tormented reruns of this daily travail. Shucks.