Never say never

I didn’t. I never said that I shall stop blogging, and it was probably a good thing too. I have been out of the blog scene for a while now. Did I miss it? Honestly? Not really. Real life has been quite taxing and with what we have just ventured into it keeps my mind quite occupied.

As I read my previous entries I realized that much have changed for me. So much so, that I contemplated deleting a few things, or even moving to a new url. But I realized that no matter what I do, I can’t hide from myself. So I shall not. You reading this shall remain witness to the evolution of a being called Zed Ezekiel.

I lost a very close family member abruptly a few months back, exactly 101 day ago actually. He was 36 years old, and was recently promoted to a very senior post in a foreign country. He visited the country, and passed away on the way back. Just like that, no real reasons – he neither smokes nor drinks. He is not overweight, nor does he have any medical history. Just like that. We didn’t do an autopsy. We didn’t want to. This was when things started to change for me. His death affected me in ways I could never explain. I will not.

We started a newco. Fun! Exciting! Stressful! Worrisome! Worth it? It depends. I don’t know yet, but I am sure that I am enjoying every moment. If you are measuring success only by monetary values, then only time will tell if the venture was worth it, but if success is the colorful experience we paint into our life – then I shall answer you now. It is worth every penny. The people I met, the lessons I learned, the realization that no matter how good you are, there are always ways to be better. Yes, worth it.

Well, that is all I have for now. See you next time. God willing. Insya’allah.

One for the weekend

It has been a rather eventful week. Much accomplished, with still so much more to be done.

Yesterday was interesting. I ended the day with a few drinks at “The T” over in Bangsar with a few friends (boys), and the conversation took a very businesslike overtone; and I decided to make myself scarce. I headed over to Friendsters (corny!) and met another friend (girl) and obviously this time it had the needed ingredients of a nice evening out. Chatting away about nothing, sharing why men sucks, and why women sucks even more as the entrée, and moving along to bitching about some common friends I feel relaxed already. Although, I don’t get to talk much, I do enjoy the listening. And it also gives me something to blog about, so what the heck!

I spent the week shuttling about town looking for a suitable location to house our team, finishing the necessary documentations that are often required to start a business, and sandwiched a few client meetings in between these times. All in all, a lot of good fun. The undulating feeling between, euphoria and freaking out, is something that I have begun to get used to. It is just the way it is. Some days will be good, others bad, or perhaps if I am lucky - mediocre.

One of the irritating manias I have to go through nowadays is listening to the thousand advices that people are so eager to give to a newbee entrepreneur wannabe.

Everyone! From the Mak Cik Nasi Lemak all the way to the MD of a few listed companies and MNCs. Hey! Don’t get me wrong, this boy appreciates all the help he can get (ie money, purchase orders, or large contracts even). But to spend an hour listening to all the lingering stories about how difficult it was for you back in the days; like listening to a war veteran talking about a war they wished they had, and making up the rest to stretch a ten minutes story into a more fulfilling hour – I’m sorry, this boy have heard it all before. In fact I could tell it for you and save you the trouble. Note to Self: Advice Overload Alert.

If I do listen to all the stories, I may end up either so freaked out that I would do nothing or so overconfident that I would most definitely make a stupid unforced error. So best to keep to myself, smile, listen politely just like mom said, and try to excuse myself as soon as I see an opening. Mom would be proud. What a good boy she raised.

So here we are, on a Friday looking at a weekend.

I am thinking of playing golf. I think Golf Addix is in town. Will give him a call, and shall be looking for Zuhri too. Need one more ball.

As for tonight?

Will be fun. I have plans for Luna Bar, and after that just hopping around depending where the friends are, and I am actually already thinking of the Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa. The place stinks to high heaven, but has heavenly food. Will “tapau”.

So here’s Zed checking out for the week. Be good boys and girls okay - don’t drink and drive.

Cheers.

Picture from Postsecret

Peek-a-boo!

Just got back from a 40 minutes run. 5 minutes warm-up with a 30 minutes interval-jog and a 5 minutes warm-down. An interval-jog is when you alternate between jogging and a brisk walk. A 2 minutes jog, and a minute brisk walk in between and so forth. As the week progress, then you will want to increase the duration of the jog, and the rest period in between too.

An ideal point would be a 5 minutes jog alternated with 2 minutes of brisk walk over a 40 minutes workout period, which would bring the entire workout to about 50 minutes with the warm ups and downs included. All in all, a good hour. To make it really work, you’ll need three of these sessions in a week. Then watch the waist disappear, and the scales tipping with a smile. Track progress for 12 weeks, and you can thank me later.

10 minutes later, here I am hooked on the web like a junkie with his favorite shot.

Browsed a couple of blogs, and checked out the comments on mine (Zed’s Note: I will reply soon ladies and gents…). I have been reviewed by the self-proclaimed blog critic and he scored me well. It is a novel idea, and one that would catch up well I am sure. He basically reviews blogs, but only the one that is requested by the blog owner themselves. So if you don’t like what he has to say, then “You asked for it!” Now he also has a couple of apprentice and I am sure business is just booming over there. The following is a complete copy of the review he made on M.i.N.d.B.l.o.G. I found his site when I was browsing on Ah Pek’s site. Hello Ah Pek, long time no see.

M.I.N.D.B.L.O.G.

There's a Lat cartoon on the top of this blog. I love Lat so this puts me in a good mood immediately. I scrolled all the way to the bottom and found a Calvin and Hobbes strip - another favourite of mine. I like this blog already!

Zed's profile is pretty long but refreshingly honest. As he puts it: "Some (posts) probably makes sense and others may be trash - such is a blog." Well said.It's a basic Blogspot template but for some reason the layout is wider than usual. I had to scroll to read the column on the right. Perhaps it's the cartoon that threw the layout out of whack?

Zed is not a daily blogger but when he does blog, it's something worthwhile. I like reading the posts, they're well written and insightful, and the English is flawless.

Nice use of pictures and he credits the source which is pretty ethical of him. I only have problems with the width of the page.

My rating: 8/10

By the Blog Critic

Well, we have all the New Years out of the way. Gregorian, Chinese, and Islamic. In case you don’t know the Awal Muharram holidays celebrates the Islamic New Year, and Muharram is the first month on the Islamic Calendar.

So no more excuses. Gotta get up and going.

I admit that I am in a bit of cheeky mood, and am feeling that I shall be up to no good anytime soon! So here I am biting by tongue, and am trying my best to stay away from my phone, alas I might be tempted to dial or text a few of my buddies and we’ll end up with a very late night on a Monday. Such a no-no, what with this fresh feeling of celebrating New Years and all. So I am doomed to watch more frivolous tee-vee. Oh I did buy a new book today. It’s called Jarheads, and it’s a chronicle from one of the Marines deployed during Desert Storm. The other book I just finished was Every Man A Tiger, one by Tom Clancy in collaboration with an Air Force General, also during the same war. So since, I have had a bird’s eye view of the war, I am inclined to find out what the grunts have to say.

Am keeping myself busy minding my own business (Zed’s Note: I have always wanted to say that! LOL), and am feeling like singing. Anyone for karaoke?

Cheers.

What I have always wanted to say about the GLC's

I was reading Kadir Jasin in Malaysian Business, and I have to admit that I have a love-hate opinion about his column. He recently remarked about how the GLC’s and PLC’s (Party Linked Companies) was being treated by these professional managers that seems to have forgotten about the legacy and heritage of the companies, and especially the sacrifice that the past politicians and businessmen have taken to ensure we are where we are today.

First something about the PLC acronym. What’s next?

Crony Linked Companies – CLC
Minister Linked Companies – MLC
Minister’s Son Linked Companies – MSLC
Minister’s Wife Brother In-Law Linked Companies – MWBILC
The Guy the Minister owes a Favor Linked Company – TGTMOAFLC

Seriously folks, we have to stop this. A company is exactly that, just a company. It should not be tarnished with such acronyms that bring to notion that we are less then willing to be transparent and measure ourselves from the returns the companies make. A company is profit rather then losses, and assets against liabilities. That is it, not a Ringgit more. When a company decides to rationalize its assets, whether selling a building or selling a subsidiary; then that is what a company is doing - rationalizing. It is attempting to return to its stakeholder’s profits and dividends that keep people employed. Employed citizens in turn help to keep the same loud politicians that are meddling into the company’s decision in office.

We hire CEO’s and put them on a stage, and have juries run verdicts on them not unlike a reality show, soon we might even have SMS’ sent in judging their performance. Let’s get real. Do these forty-something boys carry a magic wand that will make all the woes in these giants we call GLC’s go away? No. They are simply professionals, making a living incidentally in the limelight offered to them albeit involuntarily by the media, and when the time comes, have their performance report plastered in business journals commending or crucifying their decisions. I wonder sometimes if it is worth it?

I wonder too where is our Jack Welch, Lou Gertsner, or Michael Eisner? True professionals that have led their companies through the vigor of what the market have thrown at them over the years. They led, managed, and preached their way through and in the end, grew the size of each of their companies by a hundred fold.

We live in a sensationalized economy. Scandals and failures attract us. A quiet steady-Eddie running a company, one small decision at a time is to us a nonchalant knight, doomed to fail as he or she is unable to please our notion that extravagant news is good news. Reorganize, restructure, and re-brand that gets our attention. Not sell more cars, sign more joint ventures or perhaps even make a tad more profit. These are par for the course, you as a CEO-elect has to perform these activities anyway, but as you do so you cannot retrench, sell a building that has “sentimental” values, and by the way the next time you feel like buying a painting, please do give us a tinkle and we will let the Cabinet decide if its worth its weight in oil and canvas.

Am I in defense of these new kids on the block? Well, yes and no.

Yes, I think they should be given the leeway they need to do their job. No they should not be allowed to sell the shop away. There are enough matrices to measure their performance, the quarterly and annual financial reports would suffice.

Yes, I would like to see our telecommunications company venture into growing economies the world over, and return a healthy profit as it does so. I would also like to see us making new cars, instead of churning the old clunkers and force the public into buying them, and perhaps while we are at it maybe the airline company could also introduce new routes and establish an attractive mileage program that would entice me to fly them, and an upgrade to Business Class once in a while wouldn’t hurt either. I would be a more loyal customer I am sure.

Yes, we would like to sit and watch these newbees get their job done in the next two years, or even a year down the road as some of them are forced to pledge – but the reality of it is that took Welch a decade to come close to achieving his initial goals with GM, and Gertsner had to spend the first five years just reorganizing IBM to change its culture. Eisner on the other hand watched Disney move from a theme park into the blitz of the media business, and had his fair share of competition from the Japanese.

No, it will be a few more years before we breed our own Welch, Gertsner and Eisner. Looking on the bright side though, the boys are young and I see a lot of talent in Abdul Wahid, Idris Jala and Syed Zainal Abidin.

Yes, I would like to think that given a chance; maybe just maybe we will have our own CEO-supreme. A CEO that will be around a tad longer then his three years contract, and spend a decade or so growing his company to a size that would compete in this ever shrinking borderless economy.

Yes, and please stop calling them GLC’s – just TM, MAS and Proton would do I am sure.

Week 4 and counting

Nothing ventured and much awaits the seekers.

I caught Ratu (an Indonesian duo girl band) over at Planet Hollywood last Friday, and while the crowd wasn’t as big as I thought it would be; it wasn’t too bad. There were a lot of hot babes, and some of them looked very familiar! Were any of you there? The music is fresh, and with Ahmad Dhani from Dewa playing guest, it did bring the house down for a while. Mulan from Ratu is Dhani’s wife, so the special appearance was thrown in for free apparently; I felt that it helped to bring up the tempo a bit. It was a rather lost crowd before his piece, and improved tremendously thereafter.

Been playing quite a few rounds of golf, and am getting the hang of it. You see the problem is, in my head I am convinced that I could play to a 14 handicap, but this is not showing in my game. I am able to keep to about 4 to 6 pars almost every game, but am also almost consistently blowing about 3 to 5 holes with double and triple bogeys. Most of the mistakes I noticed are in the drive and short game. Had a couple of disastrous iron shots, but I think I could fix them myself. As a result I am scoring a 92 to 96. This entry is dedicated to all my real-life and blogging buddies who play the game, just so I could start my “stroke” negotiations early! I shall proclaim to a 20 handicap, and let’s work downwards from there – slowly. (Zed’s Note: ROTFLMAO!!)

I am back to using my Sony Vaio PCG-C1MT laptop, and it is small. Very small. The picture doesn’t say much, but it is about 1 kg and about two palm length in width. Works great when mobile, but I am short of a WIFI card. Low Yatt here I come!

Since losing my Nokia 9300 Communicator I have been disconnected from the web, and have not been able to type up these stories in my head as often; boy I miss the phone. This is my lame excuse for not blogging as much. Well, we’ll see if this laptop is going to help.

Next week will see a whole string of holidays coming together, and let me be one of the first to wish everyone celebrating a Happy Chinese New Year, and may it bring prosperity and health to you and your loved ones. As usual please be careful on the road, and be safe.

Daily dreaming

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Remember the rhyme? All I remember was that when I learned it, I imagined a boat.

I don’t know how the song came into my head, but it just did. I was minding my own, and suddenly this rhyme popped and voila here I am writing about it.

I have just reread Lord Archer’s Prison Diaries. Archer has always been on top of my list, and million others I am sure. For me he is exemplary not only because of his books but also his life. A man bankrupted and jailed, yet time and again he rises to the top breaking apart what spanners life has thrown at him. He is definitely on my top ten most admirable people in my lifetime, right there along with Tun Mahathir and Nelson Mandela. I think these men exemplified that one man can make an insurmountable amount of difference. A culmination of vision, discipline, and hard work brings about a change that affects millions of others.

Life may be a dream, but the only way to unlock its true meanings and affect change is to begin with one. We must have a dream. We must believe in the impossible.

I know my dream. I want to be rich. Not just financial freedom rich, but rich beyond your wildest dream. Shallow you say? Well thank you.

But, only if I am rich will I be able to do what I really want to do.

Rich is not a goal nor is it the end of my dream; it is only a means for me to achieve my purpose in this life. I know I am here for a reason bigger then trying to survive my daily grind. Rich means I could feed the poor, school the orphaned, and fend for the disabled. Rich means I could show others that it can be done, and that they too should dream and be successful. Rich means that I could finally stop asking - and start giving.

The vivid description Archer gives in his diaries brings us into the realm of his mind and how it works. It is intimate. I like the notion that while he accepts his fate, he reserves some room to hope for a better tomorrow. Imagine his great grandchildren reading his books long after he is gone. The discipline he has, the hard work he endures, and the unrelenting drive to believe in himself - and fulfill his dreams over and over again.

So here I am rowing, rowing, rowing and while merry I may be, I have a dream to fulfill. Let me be, don’t wish me luck but come and dream along with me. Perhaps one day I could write all about it – and let our children see that it can be done.

All you need is a dream.

Take five

I have decided to just keep on typing what is in my mind for the next five minutes. The only edit I will make later is for spelling errors. So if you are looking for some deep insights into philosophical innuendo’s - don’t.

This will be what I call a brain dump.

Anything and everything goes. I have been blogging sporadically for a while now, and this is due to the new… Yikes, I can’t say what I am doing now, and that seems to inhibit my flow of thought quite a bit. Anyway, it is something new and should be launched sometime in the near future. Besides that, there isn’t much to say.

On other fronts it is me trying to improve on my golf which is going down the tube nowadays. I am planning another trip to Jakarta for golf in the near future, and am trying to get my game to a level that would be worth the trip. We are thinking of Bogoraya, Gunung Gilis, and our usual Cengkaring pit-stop on the way back this time (Zed’s Note: Cengkaring is near the airport, and we usually play there before our flight back). I haven’t played Gunung Gilis, and am looking forward to it.

Okay that’s it. My five minutes is up.

Men are like wine. Really?

I had this interesting chat with Ain last week. Ain is a friend of a friend, and it was the first time I met her, she is twenty five and hot. Very hot. She exudes a charming confidence and a smile that seems to say, lets have fun and come laugh with me. My friends and I were in Chinoz just shooting the breeze after work, when she joined us for a drink.

Ain shared a story about how an elderly man invited himself to join her table before we arrived. As she didn’t want to be rude, she did let the gentleman join her, and obviously his lines were predictable. How pretty she is, how smart she looks, how he wished that he had known her earlier, how she looks like a model, okay just go ahead and fill in the blanks, you probably have heard most of it anyway.

We chat about her “old dude” and she mentioned something interesting. She said “Men are like wine, they age slowly, and are almost always better with time”. This was the reason she was curious to hear what the “old dude” had to say, though she was disappointed – this time. I can see the logic in this, it made sense.

As men age, we overcome our insecurities and are not longer eager to flash our alpha male manners, rather we exhibit a certain class to demonstrate our stature. No more chest thumping, laughing loudly, and obnoxious challenges to fellow boys to see who is bigger or stronger. We are suave and self-assured.

We know that figuring out women is an endless loop that is not bound by any rules, but rather she will just change depending on the weather, her hormones, the last conversation she had, and perhaps what she had for breakfast. So men after a certain age, just stops trying to solve the women puzzle, and would rather just enjoy the product. Skin deep is deep enough for most.

Women like this.

They don’t want to be figured out, but instead she use words like love and care to describe their relationships. They don’t need a mechanic to tinker with their head. It is the joy of feeling safe and protected that makes a women happiest, and she will continue to test this feeling – consciously or unconsciously. She will push the limits of her relationship to see how far she could go, and establish her territory. She draws a line around her man, and keeps a fierce eye for any potential rival. In return, she provides all the benefits that a woman has to offer. Sex, food, and that occasional place for a man to go to and let his guards down.

Imagine the lion keeping an eye on his pride. One male, with the lioness doing all his hunting, and protecting the cubs for him. His job is simply to ensure that no other male mates with his girls, and that he keeps the pride away from any harm that might come to it. For this, he will sacrifice his life.

No women would say no to a man that could make her feel safe and wanted.

Alas, it does take a while for a man to figure this out. All the dance and rituals of impressing a women we make was really a show we put up to drive the other guys away. As for the women? They are silently judging the character of their potential mate, and incidentally if they like someone they call it chemistry; or better yet fate.

Actually what they saw was a man able to care for them and will be there when things do take a turn for the worst, just so she could have the best environment for her future offspring. She may say that she doesn’t want children – yet. Truth is, it is biological and is imprinted in our DNA. One of the reason we are put here on earth is to procreate, and as long as that opportunity presents itself; we will.

So as these young runts go about wondering why do these “matured” men seem to be able to pluck their girls as if there was some kind of magic, and as the kids think it has to do with the expensive cars and watches, we sit back in our comfortable chairs and smile. We know something you don’t my young jedi.

It took a while, but we figured out what women want boys. She wants everything. Or at least the thought of being able to have everything; will sometimes suffice. Here kitty, kitty...

Pictures are from Postsecret

Come and get me New Year. I am ready!

Part Two: Nature XCIX

A DEW sufficed itself
And satisfied a leaf,
And felt, “how vast a destiny!
How trivial is life!”

The sun went out to work,
The day went out to play,
But not again that dew was seen
By physiognomy.

Whether by day abducted,
Or emptied by the sun
Into the sea, in passing,
Eternally unknown

Emily Dickinson (1830–86)

Another year folds upon itself, and a new one dawns upon us.

This time, we tell ourselves it will just be the same. No need for resolutions and no need for change as it is inevitably a colossal disappointment come year end anyway. Why bother, we tell ourselves. This year, I shall just take it as it comes.

I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on my own life, and concluded that perhaps this is not the way to go after all. Incidentally before I found out about blogging and obviously got hooked to it, like the first time a baby finds his pacifier, I have always kept a journal. In college it was hand written, and as I progressed it got digital and most of it now is nicely tucked away for my reading ruminations. So as I reflect on the past, reading these entries, preparing myself for the future - I noticed that as much as I would like to say that I have evolved over the years, most of the issues I face are still the same.

They say people never change. Perhaps there is some truth in this. However, thanks to this blog, as Jo once mentioned, I have witnesses to what I write and how I see myself. Hopefully in months to come, this blogger will be able to shape himself into a being that would finally be of some use to others. Otherwise, it shall just be another superficial ride in the park, one that ends with laughter but carries a lingering taint of mindless amusement.

There is a quote I like, which I got from the sidebar’s Quote of the Day.

"Man knows so much and does so little."
R. Buckminster Fuller

We often know what we need to do to meet the goals and objectives that we set for ourselves. However, as time goes by - procrastination, mismanaged priorities, lack of interest or simply just gool old plain laziness affects our outcomes. Year in and year out we ask ourselves where did the money go? Why am I working so hard just to be at the same spot all over again? How about my relationship? Where is it heading? Why do we have so much in common, yet make so little out of it? Then comes the questions about our careers. Is this what I want to do for a living? Is this all there is? Do I want to grow old and turn into my balding boss? Did I make the right choice in the first place?

This inevitably is one of the fundamental building blocks of life. Asking difficult questions.

Too often we jump into the quagmire of issues, problems and dilemmas and immediately seek for an answer. This is how we were taught when we were growing up. For every question, there is an answer. Some multiple choices, others subjective – and for each of our answers we were given a grade.

Well, guess what?

There is no grade in life, and there is no right nor wrong answers. It is all right or all wrong, depending on which point of view you take. As far as grades are concerned, people have decided to look upon you based upon what car you drive and how big your house is as a measurement. This materialistic view of life is inevitable as society decides which caste we belong to. Humans are natural born bigots, and the only way we can survive is to pigeonhole a person to where he or she belongs in the different strata's of our society which in turn enables us to relate to them.

Meet a Datuk? Jump up, shake his hands vigorously, and try to be as charming as possible. Meet simple Joe, with shiny plastic looking pants and rows of pen hanging in his shirt pocket? Well, a polite smile will do. This is who we are. We are born into a society that have stereotyped almost every nuance that we portray.

What is going to stop this?

Asking the right questions, and to continue being curious. Only when we question ourselves will we be able to create the badly needed speed-bumps for a reality check. Otherwise, it is just a straight drive, do not Pass Go, and continue with our mindless surge for needless necessities.

We need to check ourselves. Sometimes, we nod and give ourselves that well deserved pat on the back, other times we cringe in shame and wish we could turn back time. This necessity to reflect on who we are, where we are heading, and where are we now - is just a simple way to make sure that with the many distractions life has to offer, we keep moving forward.

If the child never shouted “The King is not wearing any cloths!” everyone would still pretend that everything is fine, and the poor King would still be walking around without his cloths. So these inquisitive nature in us are the milestones that halts the ego that we blow-up as we age. Let the child loose sometimes, and see what he or she has to say.

As we rendezvous with destiny, we sometimes ask if we actually contributed to the events that happened, or was it just fate? Well, no one doubts that fate played a role in what we achieved, but make no mistake, it was us that put our self into the path of opportunity or destruction to begin with. We could choose to stay on the same course, going to the same job day in and day out, and continue ranting about never having enough money; or we could change our own fate by changing our career or getting ourselves educated further to improve our opportunity.

All in all, I learned one simple truth from this ending year.

The truth to it all lies inside us. We get a say to what happens to us down the road, simply based on what we do today. And it all boils down to the choices we make, and actions we follow through with.

The only way to have money is either to earn more, or to spend less - no need for a financial guru to tell you this. The only way to have a relationship is to reach out. No one could dive into the depth of your being and read you like a book. You have to take chances and make mistakes - some will be rewarded and others you will learn from.

And most importantly to be happy? It is to strive towards the good things in life. You can choose to be grumpy, as so many do, but if you choose to ignore the small things in life, and excel in what is important then happiness is inherent to the achievements we make.

So here's to a new year, new reasons to live, and new friends to live it with!

Cheers!

(Zed's Note: The picture was nicked from binx's
site. Thanks May for the
reminder, and binx for the pix.)

[physiognomy]

1. The art of judging human character from facial features. Divination based on facial features.
2. Facial features, especially when regarded as revealing character.

When forever is never

Pernah dulu kufikirkan
Tanpa cinta tak mengapa
Bila kau pergi kurasakan
Sunyinya dihati
Baru kini kutahu
Nilai cintamu

It has been a while. A while since I have thought of the moments we created. A while since my mind played your portraits ever so slowly. A while since I felt this numb and senseless feelings. A while since I thought of these thoughts. A while since anyone have completed my thoughts. And then you called.

No dear, no one have called me and cried because they missed me, and simply because they loved me. No one, but you. You know love, and you know how to love. No one have showed me the true colors of love besides you. But we both knew it was never meant to be. There will be no us.

Lama telah ku impikan
Gadis sepertinya
Mengisi taman hati
Dengan cahaya kasih (suci)
Siapakah gadis yang ku idam...

Yes, I miss you. Tremendously. I miss the times we had, and the times we shared. I miss missing you. It was when I felt that life had a meaning. It spelled out feelings that felt so good, I felt guilty. It couldn’t be this good, it shouldn’t. But it was. It was good indeed. We enjoyed it. Yes we hurt each other doing so, but we did it anyway, because sometimes wrong is right.

No, it wasn’t without its price. We both paid. We paid dearly, and we are still paying. It will never ever go away. It was that good and it was that expensive. A lifetime of slavery is nothing compared to the bliss we shared.

Sebuah cinta dan harapan
Menjadi mimpi berterbangan
Tersekat nafasku kabur pandangan mataku
Amat tersiksa diriku
Kerana kehilanganmu

It never felt the same after. We both knew it. We both knew that what we had would also be the last time we will ever have it. It will never be the same again, now that we know that there is such a thing called love, such a thing called forever, such a thing called complete. We thought we were strong, that we were infallible, alas we were not. It hurts me thinking this thought, and I know it hurts you knowing that I am thinking it.

It never felt like it would end. We both thought that today and tomorrow and forever was the same. It was not. It never was and never will be.

Andainya aku punya waktu
Masih ku ingin mengulangi semula
Saat indah bersama mu
Sayang tak berkesempatan
Abadikan saja salam ku di ingatan
Salam ku yang terakhir

This is not goodbye. There can be no goodbye in forever. This feeling will last. We shared a moment, one that shall remain. I will be here just as much as you will be there. Far maybe; but never ever apart.

Never ever.