Week 4 and counting

Nothing ventured and much awaits the seekers.

I caught Ratu (an Indonesian duo girl band) over at Planet Hollywood last Friday, and while the crowd wasn’t as big as I thought it would be; it wasn’t too bad. There were a lot of hot babes, and some of them looked very familiar! Were any of you there? The music is fresh, and with Ahmad Dhani from Dewa playing guest, it did bring the house down for a while. Mulan from Ratu is Dhani’s wife, so the special appearance was thrown in for free apparently; I felt that it helped to bring up the tempo a bit. It was a rather lost crowd before his piece, and improved tremendously thereafter.

Been playing quite a few rounds of golf, and am getting the hang of it. You see the problem is, in my head I am convinced that I could play to a 14 handicap, but this is not showing in my game. I am able to keep to about 4 to 6 pars almost every game, but am also almost consistently blowing about 3 to 5 holes with double and triple bogeys. Most of the mistakes I noticed are in the drive and short game. Had a couple of disastrous iron shots, but I think I could fix them myself. As a result I am scoring a 92 to 96. This entry is dedicated to all my real-life and blogging buddies who play the game, just so I could start my “stroke” negotiations early! I shall proclaim to a 20 handicap, and let’s work downwards from there – slowly. (Zed’s Note: ROTFLMAO!!)

I am back to using my Sony Vaio PCG-C1MT laptop, and it is small. Very small. The picture doesn’t say much, but it is about 1 kg and about two palm length in width. Works great when mobile, but I am short of a WIFI card. Low Yatt here I come!

Since losing my Nokia 9300 Communicator I have been disconnected from the web, and have not been able to type up these stories in my head as often; boy I miss the phone. This is my lame excuse for not blogging as much. Well, we’ll see if this laptop is going to help.

Next week will see a whole string of holidays coming together, and let me be one of the first to wish everyone celebrating a Happy Chinese New Year, and may it bring prosperity and health to you and your loved ones. As usual please be careful on the road, and be safe.

Daily dreaming

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Remember the rhyme? All I remember was that when I learned it, I imagined a boat.

I don’t know how the song came into my head, but it just did. I was minding my own, and suddenly this rhyme popped and voila here I am writing about it.

I have just reread Lord Archer’s Prison Diaries. Archer has always been on top of my list, and million others I am sure. For me he is exemplary not only because of his books but also his life. A man bankrupted and jailed, yet time and again he rises to the top breaking apart what spanners life has thrown at him. He is definitely on my top ten most admirable people in my lifetime, right there along with Tun Mahathir and Nelson Mandela. I think these men exemplified that one man can make an insurmountable amount of difference. A culmination of vision, discipline, and hard work brings about a change that affects millions of others.

Life may be a dream, but the only way to unlock its true meanings and affect change is to begin with one. We must have a dream. We must believe in the impossible.

I know my dream. I want to be rich. Not just financial freedom rich, but rich beyond your wildest dream. Shallow you say? Well thank you.

But, only if I am rich will I be able to do what I really want to do.

Rich is not a goal nor is it the end of my dream; it is only a means for me to achieve my purpose in this life. I know I am here for a reason bigger then trying to survive my daily grind. Rich means I could feed the poor, school the orphaned, and fend for the disabled. Rich means I could show others that it can be done, and that they too should dream and be successful. Rich means that I could finally stop asking - and start giving.

The vivid description Archer gives in his diaries brings us into the realm of his mind and how it works. It is intimate. I like the notion that while he accepts his fate, he reserves some room to hope for a better tomorrow. Imagine his great grandchildren reading his books long after he is gone. The discipline he has, the hard work he endures, and the unrelenting drive to believe in himself - and fulfill his dreams over and over again.

So here I am rowing, rowing, rowing and while merry I may be, I have a dream to fulfill. Let me be, don’t wish me luck but come and dream along with me. Perhaps one day I could write all about it – and let our children see that it can be done.

All you need is a dream.

Take five

I have decided to just keep on typing what is in my mind for the next five minutes. The only edit I will make later is for spelling errors. So if you are looking for some deep insights into philosophical innuendo’s - don’t.

This will be what I call a brain dump.

Anything and everything goes. I have been blogging sporadically for a while now, and this is due to the new… Yikes, I can’t say what I am doing now, and that seems to inhibit my flow of thought quite a bit. Anyway, it is something new and should be launched sometime in the near future. Besides that, there isn’t much to say.

On other fronts it is me trying to improve on my golf which is going down the tube nowadays. I am planning another trip to Jakarta for golf in the near future, and am trying to get my game to a level that would be worth the trip. We are thinking of Bogoraya, Gunung Gilis, and our usual Cengkaring pit-stop on the way back this time (Zed’s Note: Cengkaring is near the airport, and we usually play there before our flight back). I haven’t played Gunung Gilis, and am looking forward to it.

Okay that’s it. My five minutes is up.

Men are like wine. Really?

I had this interesting chat with Ain last week. Ain is a friend of a friend, and it was the first time I met her, she is twenty five and hot. Very hot. She exudes a charming confidence and a smile that seems to say, lets have fun and come laugh with me. My friends and I were in Chinoz just shooting the breeze after work, when she joined us for a drink.

Ain shared a story about how an elderly man invited himself to join her table before we arrived. As she didn’t want to be rude, she did let the gentleman join her, and obviously his lines were predictable. How pretty she is, how smart she looks, how he wished that he had known her earlier, how she looks like a model, okay just go ahead and fill in the blanks, you probably have heard most of it anyway.

We chat about her “old dude” and she mentioned something interesting. She said “Men are like wine, they age slowly, and are almost always better with time”. This was the reason she was curious to hear what the “old dude” had to say, though she was disappointed – this time. I can see the logic in this, it made sense.

As men age, we overcome our insecurities and are not longer eager to flash our alpha male manners, rather we exhibit a certain class to demonstrate our stature. No more chest thumping, laughing loudly, and obnoxious challenges to fellow boys to see who is bigger or stronger. We are suave and self-assured.

We know that figuring out women is an endless loop that is not bound by any rules, but rather she will just change depending on the weather, her hormones, the last conversation she had, and perhaps what she had for breakfast. So men after a certain age, just stops trying to solve the women puzzle, and would rather just enjoy the product. Skin deep is deep enough for most.

Women like this.

They don’t want to be figured out, but instead she use words like love and care to describe their relationships. They don’t need a mechanic to tinker with their head. It is the joy of feeling safe and protected that makes a women happiest, and she will continue to test this feeling – consciously or unconsciously. She will push the limits of her relationship to see how far she could go, and establish her territory. She draws a line around her man, and keeps a fierce eye for any potential rival. In return, she provides all the benefits that a woman has to offer. Sex, food, and that occasional place for a man to go to and let his guards down.

Imagine the lion keeping an eye on his pride. One male, with the lioness doing all his hunting, and protecting the cubs for him. His job is simply to ensure that no other male mates with his girls, and that he keeps the pride away from any harm that might come to it. For this, he will sacrifice his life.

No women would say no to a man that could make her feel safe and wanted.

Alas, it does take a while for a man to figure this out. All the dance and rituals of impressing a women we make was really a show we put up to drive the other guys away. As for the women? They are silently judging the character of their potential mate, and incidentally if they like someone they call it chemistry; or better yet fate.

Actually what they saw was a man able to care for them and will be there when things do take a turn for the worst, just so she could have the best environment for her future offspring. She may say that she doesn’t want children – yet. Truth is, it is biological and is imprinted in our DNA. One of the reason we are put here on earth is to procreate, and as long as that opportunity presents itself; we will.

So as these young runts go about wondering why do these “matured” men seem to be able to pluck their girls as if there was some kind of magic, and as the kids think it has to do with the expensive cars and watches, we sit back in our comfortable chairs and smile. We know something you don’t my young jedi.

It took a while, but we figured out what women want boys. She wants everything. Or at least the thought of being able to have everything; will sometimes suffice. Here kitty, kitty...

Pictures are from Postsecret

Come and get me New Year. I am ready!

Part Two: Nature XCIX

A DEW sufficed itself
And satisfied a leaf,
And felt, “how vast a destiny!
How trivial is life!”

The sun went out to work,
The day went out to play,
But not again that dew was seen
By physiognomy.

Whether by day abducted,
Or emptied by the sun
Into the sea, in passing,
Eternally unknown

Emily Dickinson (1830–86)

Another year folds upon itself, and a new one dawns upon us.

This time, we tell ourselves it will just be the same. No need for resolutions and no need for change as it is inevitably a colossal disappointment come year end anyway. Why bother, we tell ourselves. This year, I shall just take it as it comes.

I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on my own life, and concluded that perhaps this is not the way to go after all. Incidentally before I found out about blogging and obviously got hooked to it, like the first time a baby finds his pacifier, I have always kept a journal. In college it was hand written, and as I progressed it got digital and most of it now is nicely tucked away for my reading ruminations. So as I reflect on the past, reading these entries, preparing myself for the future - I noticed that as much as I would like to say that I have evolved over the years, most of the issues I face are still the same.

They say people never change. Perhaps there is some truth in this. However, thanks to this blog, as Jo once mentioned, I have witnesses to what I write and how I see myself. Hopefully in months to come, this blogger will be able to shape himself into a being that would finally be of some use to others. Otherwise, it shall just be another superficial ride in the park, one that ends with laughter but carries a lingering taint of mindless amusement.

There is a quote I like, which I got from the sidebar’s Quote of the Day.

"Man knows so much and does so little."
R. Buckminster Fuller

We often know what we need to do to meet the goals and objectives that we set for ourselves. However, as time goes by - procrastination, mismanaged priorities, lack of interest or simply just gool old plain laziness affects our outcomes. Year in and year out we ask ourselves where did the money go? Why am I working so hard just to be at the same spot all over again? How about my relationship? Where is it heading? Why do we have so much in common, yet make so little out of it? Then comes the questions about our careers. Is this what I want to do for a living? Is this all there is? Do I want to grow old and turn into my balding boss? Did I make the right choice in the first place?

This inevitably is one of the fundamental building blocks of life. Asking difficult questions.

Too often we jump into the quagmire of issues, problems and dilemmas and immediately seek for an answer. This is how we were taught when we were growing up. For every question, there is an answer. Some multiple choices, others subjective – and for each of our answers we were given a grade.

Well, guess what?

There is no grade in life, and there is no right nor wrong answers. It is all right or all wrong, depending on which point of view you take. As far as grades are concerned, people have decided to look upon you based upon what car you drive and how big your house is as a measurement. This materialistic view of life is inevitable as society decides which caste we belong to. Humans are natural born bigots, and the only way we can survive is to pigeonhole a person to where he or she belongs in the different strata's of our society which in turn enables us to relate to them.

Meet a Datuk? Jump up, shake his hands vigorously, and try to be as charming as possible. Meet simple Joe, with shiny plastic looking pants and rows of pen hanging in his shirt pocket? Well, a polite smile will do. This is who we are. We are born into a society that have stereotyped almost every nuance that we portray.

What is going to stop this?

Asking the right questions, and to continue being curious. Only when we question ourselves will we be able to create the badly needed speed-bumps for a reality check. Otherwise, it is just a straight drive, do not Pass Go, and continue with our mindless surge for needless necessities.

We need to check ourselves. Sometimes, we nod and give ourselves that well deserved pat on the back, other times we cringe in shame and wish we could turn back time. This necessity to reflect on who we are, where we are heading, and where are we now - is just a simple way to make sure that with the many distractions life has to offer, we keep moving forward.

If the child never shouted “The King is not wearing any cloths!” everyone would still pretend that everything is fine, and the poor King would still be walking around without his cloths. So these inquisitive nature in us are the milestones that halts the ego that we blow-up as we age. Let the child loose sometimes, and see what he or she has to say.

As we rendezvous with destiny, we sometimes ask if we actually contributed to the events that happened, or was it just fate? Well, no one doubts that fate played a role in what we achieved, but make no mistake, it was us that put our self into the path of opportunity or destruction to begin with. We could choose to stay on the same course, going to the same job day in and day out, and continue ranting about never having enough money; or we could change our own fate by changing our career or getting ourselves educated further to improve our opportunity.

All in all, I learned one simple truth from this ending year.

The truth to it all lies inside us. We get a say to what happens to us down the road, simply based on what we do today. And it all boils down to the choices we make, and actions we follow through with.

The only way to have money is either to earn more, or to spend less - no need for a financial guru to tell you this. The only way to have a relationship is to reach out. No one could dive into the depth of your being and read you like a book. You have to take chances and make mistakes - some will be rewarded and others you will learn from.

And most importantly to be happy? It is to strive towards the good things in life. You can choose to be grumpy, as so many do, but if you choose to ignore the small things in life, and excel in what is important then happiness is inherent to the achievements we make.

So here's to a new year, new reasons to live, and new friends to live it with!

Cheers!

(Zed's Note: The picture was nicked from binx's
site. Thanks May for the
reminder, and binx for the pix.)

[physiognomy]

1. The art of judging human character from facial features. Divination based on facial features.
2. Facial features, especially when regarded as revealing character.

When forever is never

Pernah dulu kufikirkan
Tanpa cinta tak mengapa
Bila kau pergi kurasakan
Sunyinya dihati
Baru kini kutahu
Nilai cintamu

It has been a while. A while since I have thought of the moments we created. A while since my mind played your portraits ever so slowly. A while since I felt this numb and senseless feelings. A while since I thought of these thoughts. A while since anyone have completed my thoughts. And then you called.

No dear, no one have called me and cried because they missed me, and simply because they loved me. No one, but you. You know love, and you know how to love. No one have showed me the true colors of love besides you. But we both knew it was never meant to be. There will be no us.

Lama telah ku impikan
Gadis sepertinya
Mengisi taman hati
Dengan cahaya kasih (suci)
Siapakah gadis yang ku idam...

Yes, I miss you. Tremendously. I miss the times we had, and the times we shared. I miss missing you. It was when I felt that life had a meaning. It spelled out feelings that felt so good, I felt guilty. It couldn’t be this good, it shouldn’t. But it was. It was good indeed. We enjoyed it. Yes we hurt each other doing so, but we did it anyway, because sometimes wrong is right.

No, it wasn’t without its price. We both paid. We paid dearly, and we are still paying. It will never ever go away. It was that good and it was that expensive. A lifetime of slavery is nothing compared to the bliss we shared.

Sebuah cinta dan harapan
Menjadi mimpi berterbangan
Tersekat nafasku kabur pandangan mataku
Amat tersiksa diriku
Kerana kehilanganmu

It never felt the same after. We both knew it. We both knew that what we had would also be the last time we will ever have it. It will never be the same again, now that we know that there is such a thing called love, such a thing called forever, such a thing called complete. We thought we were strong, that we were infallible, alas we were not. It hurts me thinking this thought, and I know it hurts you knowing that I am thinking it.

It never felt like it would end. We both thought that today and tomorrow and forever was the same. It was not. It never was and never will be.

Andainya aku punya waktu
Masih ku ingin mengulangi semula
Saat indah bersama mu
Sayang tak berkesempatan
Abadikan saja salam ku di ingatan
Salam ku yang terakhir

This is not goodbye. There can be no goodbye in forever. This feeling will last. We shared a moment, one that shall remain. I will be here just as much as you will be there. Far maybe; but never ever apart.

Never ever.

One that makes me warm, and proud to be Malaysian

I have my own opinions of my country. I am proud of it for sure, though I am sometimes troubled by some incidents that perhaps could be handled better.

Once in a while though we come across someone whom is able to see through the colors of the country and see a glimpse of what this nation is all about. The amalgamated society of race, religion, and political belief is one of acceptance, as today we have gone well beyond simply being tolerant.

We have matured into a country where being different is expected, and it is not one that we have to live with – but one that we have come to accept and cherish.

I look forward to grow in this country where one day we will harness the different values of our race for the betterment of a nation. One day we will cross pollinate our abilities to make us an economic and political influence that will be the glue to a united Asian Economic Community and again repeat the role of being the trading post of the region; not unlike what Malacca was not too distant in the past.

We have so much to gain, working together - and much more to lose if we don’t.

I found this article over at BlogsMalaysia and am compelled to share. Do visit the original links of the article and BlogsMalaysia to seek more.

And to Justin Raimondo... I bid you Terima Kasih.

________________________________

Christmas in Malaysia It's not what you might imagine
December 23, 2005
by Justin Raimondo

To say that Malaysia is not what I imagined would be an understatement of epic proportions. Situated just south of Thailand, north of Indonesia, and quite close to the equator, the country describes itself as officially "Islamic," and this, at least in the minds of most Americans, means a stultifying uniformity, a monolithic apparatus of cultural and all too often political repression. It means women in burqas, gay people in hiding, and a society generally groaning under the weight of an enormous repression. Therefore, when I was invited to attend the Perdana Global Peace Forum as a speaker, I was somewhat hesitant, to say the least: did I really want to venture forth into such a forbidding landscape? So my initial answer was "no." But after doing a little research, and in response to the urgings of Antiwar.com's webmaster, Eric Garris, I reconsidered. What, I reasoned, could possibly happen to me? After all, I had lived in that most dangerous and forbidding realm, the New York City of pre-Giuliani days, where you were just as likely to be mugged as anything else, and in broad daylight, too. Yet I had lived to tell the tale. So, I thought, what the heck – why not?

I am now well into my second week of staying in Kuala Lumpur, at the fabulous Crowne Plaza Hotel, and it is clearer than ever that my prejudices were not only mistaken – they were and are the exact opposite of the truth. Malaysia is the virtual incarnation of religious and ethnic diversity, a veritable melting pot of racial and devotional groups that somehow manage to live in relative harmony far beyond anything I have seen even in that paradigmatic paragon of multiculturalism, California. Malays, Chinese, Indians, Arabs, and a generous smattering of Anglo expats swarm the streets of Kuala Lumpur, the biggest city in the country: yes, there is a Muslim majority, but non-Muslims are not subject to sharia law. Malay Muslims coexist with Chinese Catholics, and Buddhist priests roam the Bukhit Bintang plaza, begging, amidst crowds shopping for the latest fashions and punk rockers with pink hair stroll fearlessly down the street.

You never saw such diversity. And that's just during the daytime. At night…

I'm getting ahead of myself. Of course, I didn't come here for the nightlife: I came for the Perdana Peace Forum, which was favored with an impressive array of speakers: former Australian prime minister Bob Hawke, British MP George Galloway, former UN assistant secretary-general Denis Halliday, Pakistan-born Britain-based writer and filmmaker Tariq Ali, former UN assistant secretary-general Hans von Sponeck, Daniel Ellsberg, and anti-nuclear-arms activist and writer Helen Caldicott. Representing the Malaysians were former prime minister Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, current Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, and Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.

I had some concerns about former Prime Minister Mahathir, but then I read this Paul Krugman column and my fears were somewhat allayed. Upon meeting Dr. Mahathir, whatever reservations remained were put completely to rest: the man seems to emanate benevolence and great gentleness, almost an aura of serenity, like some sort of Buddhist guru.

Another concern was the appearance of any connection to a government entity: Antiwar.com does not accept money from any governmental source, nor do we affiliate ourselves with the activities of any government. Only after receiving assurances that not a penny of Malaysian government money was going into the conference did we agree to attend. The conference was, indeed, a model of private enterprise in action, with corporate contributions from Ambank Group, Berjaya Corporation Bhd, Country Heights Holdings Bhd, Kuala Lumpur Kepong Bhd, Malayan Banking Bhd, Multi-Purpose Holdings Bhd, Sri Inderajaya Holdings Sdn Bhd, the Sunway Group, and the Sapura Group of Companies. Nestle and Dell Computers were also among the corporate sponsors.

At any rate, the conference was… amazing. Literally thousands of ordinary Malaysians heard the speakers and then divided into discussion groups. Around a third to a half were young people, and their questions and comments provided an illuminating glimpse into the minds of non-Americans, who look on America with great affection and respect and yet object to the actions of the American government.

Eric Garris has gone into the incident involving Zimbabwe's dictator Robert Mugabe, who suddenly showed up uninvited, so I won't go into too many of the details. Suffice to say that I made a point of working a denunciation of Mugabe's thuggery into my speech, an event that seemed to catalyze general opposition to his presence. An event at which Mugabe was supposed to speak was canceled, and, in answer to inquiries about Mugabe's presence, Dr. Mahathir remarked: "Everybody can attend. If he wants to say how good it is to be a dictator, he can."

I have to say that there was none of the crude anti-Americanism at the conference that one has – sadly – come to expect at gatherings of antiwar activists. Eric and I made a point of linking the cause of peace to the cause of free markets at every opportunity, a viewpoint that was especially appreciated by the conference organizers.

I have to say that I am… astonished by Malaysia. Here is an "Islamic" country where a gigantic 

Christmas tree sits in the lobby of the hotel I'm staying at, and the café waiters in the plaza a few blocks away are dressed like Santa's elves. Here is a city where the nightlife puts San Francisco's to shame. Where the city's oldest gay bar, the Blue Boy, makes Baghdad-by-the-Bay seem like a dive in Podunk, Idaho; where people party well into the morning light, and you can have a good time for a few ringgits (the Malay currency: around 30 cents). The food is fabulous: Malay (spicy, somewhat Thai-like), Arab (there's a great place right off Bukhit Bintang), Chinese (you haven't lived until you've sampled the pleasures of Kuala Lumpur's Chinatown), and too many more to go into here. The place is a gastrointestinal paradise!

Modernity is juxtaposed next to traditionalism: on the one hand you have the soaring heights of the Petronas Twin Towers, the tallest buildings in the world, lit up like a vision of futurity against the night sky, and on the other hand you have women in traditional dress – colorful costumes of bright color and the requisite head covering – traversing its corridors. Two, three, many worlds coexisting: the past and the future converging into a new synthesis of creativity and entrepreneurial energy. The impression one gets is of a tremendous vitality, a restless yet directed life-force that seems to spring right out of the earth.

A final note: nowhere have I experienced more genuine warmth and such a feeling of welcome. When you come to Kuala Lumpur, you are made to feel very special. The gentleness and politeness of these people is a phenomenon that doesn't exist, to my knowledge, anywhere in the U.S. Malays are generally puzzled by the actions of the U.S. government abroad, and do not support the war in Iraq: but they love America, the country, and show great admiration and respect for the American people. And that is the kind of "anti-Americanism" that I can live with.

The Christmas and New Year Tag-along

Well, we are now very close to closing this chapter of our diaries, blogs, and whatever else we use to keep our thoughts in. It is perhaps a good time to reflect after all.

Incidentally I was tagged by Sheryl, which she got from Helen, who got it from Zara’s Mama who in turn got it from Maria a.k.a. Twinsmum and apparently the original tag was in Chinese characters which either came from Mingming or Wong Teck Jung and at this point I lost the trail due to my lack of linguistic capacity when suddenly everything became a myriad of characters I wish I could read but couldn’t.

Anyway, to make a very long story short here is the tag.

Person I want my Santa to be:

The gift that I wish to get:

The RM 120,000,000.00 eCourt Project that keeps going back-and-forth like a very long boring rally in badminton! Just give it to me already. I’ll get it up and running in no time, and people would then be whizzing through the courts like it was a cashier counter at Carrefour!

So, now that we’ve got the tag done, lets move on to the next topic.

I was out last night with some friends and we started talking about blogging. Lo and behold! To my pleasant surprise, there were three active bloggers around the table, and as there were like eleven of us, most of the rest were either already commenting on blogs or are planning to start one. Well, well, well interesting as it may be, I also realized something about blogs.

While the personality we present in our daily life may project a certain image, over on a blog we are sometimes a completely different person. It may not really be who we are, or sometimes it is a reflection of our true self emerging in an atmosphere that suggests some form of placid tranquility.

Yes on a blog we are not unlike Superman faster then a speeding bullet, stronger then a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings with a single bound! We are able to impose upon others what we think and feel, when in real life this may be suppressed by the fact that we have a nanosecond to come out with something smart to say, or end up being left out in the corner of the table nursing our drinks watching the hoopla of conversations going on like an F1 race. Yes, here in blogosphere, some of us are Superman.

Able to say much more, at our own pace at our own terms and this got me thinking about me.

Who am I in real life, as compared to this Zed fellow writing all these nuances about himself? I usually try not to write about others, simply because I don’t like it. I am not much of a gossip-monger, and people often do take offence when you write stuff about them, even if you meant well, or even if you meant it as a joke. I also realized that this anonymity we carry on our blogs is a false sense of security as someday, someone will figure out who you are, and about what you have said about them. No I cherish my fragile peace of mind a wee bit too much to bring about the notion that I am holier then thou.

In our blogs we are amongst equals. I know not who you are, and nor do you I.

On a final note.

I may have perhaps in my entries and comments made a conjecture that doesn’t sit well with you. As I hop the blogs, leaving multitude of comments here and there, perhaps I may have inadvertently piss you off. For that, and in the spirit of the days to come, and the beginning of a brand new year - I beg you for your forgiveness. I have much to lose when I lose a friend, and much more to gain when I gain your friendship virtual or real it matters not.

So from one blogger to another I bid you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and a heck of a 2006!

Oh by the way, here is who I really want for Christmas!

No you are not lost, just audacious

How often have we been in a position where we suddenly realized that we don’t know what we are doing, not sure where we are, or perhaps just suddenly confused with all our bearings? I have been rather cryptic in the last few entries, and as Jo mentioned “You seem as though you're going through a phase of reflection this time of year, ey?” and also according to Rostam “Zed, u r beginning to write like MIV”.

Well this is no coincidence.

I am reflective, and I have been attempting to hide behind the cloak of cryptic allusions, however when I began to read what I have written I realized that some of the joy from what really is happening is taken out. Well, such is the price of a blog. Amongst close friends over a few drinks, perhaps even a game of Pictionary over at La Bodega, much more could be shared and the tête-à-tête of the evening would be just a tad more lively.

However, on these pages it would suffice to say that much is happening.

Often as we embark on a venture, we lose the dependable charted maps that have guided us well over the years. What was once taken for granted is no longer at our fingertips. The worn out assumptions we used to make, and decisions that was based on dealings that haven’t really changed over the years are no longer trustworthy.

I was having this chat with my very good friend and business partner yesterday as we sat in the Jacuzzi at the Andana Spa in the new Holiday Inn over at Glenmarie. By the way, I would recommend this spot to everyone, it is available to both sexes, has a very open ambience and allows everybody to mingle in its centre lounge – complete with VIP Rooms. A good place to unwind along with clients, and does not have any of the dodgy character often associated with the word Spa nowadays.

We spoke of many things, some about our plans, some about the new beginnings, and some about the needless need to know exactly what is going to happen. Yes, when you jump into anarchy head first, sometimes one would not want to know too much. We would rather let circumstance dictate the course of action that ensues. So now with so little to hang on, and so much to plunder we wondered what would hold us together? I believe that in the chaos of mutiny, war, and the pursuit of one’s dreams taking out the rusty Moral Compass may perhaps be the only defense from losing one’s way.

In each of our endeavors, the guiding philosophy between right and wrong lies in simple bearings once taught to us a long time ago. I believe that within each and everyone of us lies a clear distinction between good versus evil, hence as long as we remain true to the north of good and steer away from the south of evil the journey will chart its own course.

As we spent the rest of the evening over a few games of pool, and a Japanese dinner which I would not recommend, we were subdued by the fact that we will have to live with the uncertainties of what lies ahead, and leverage on our collective capabilities of what we leave behind. So even if the feelings feels like being lost, one simply have to earn one’s right to be audacious as one faces the anarchy of altercations.

Even though ablazed

If I had to do it all over again
I need all the bruises to be the same
As I know not the difference between good and bad
Since some good came from the bad
And some bad came from the good

So as I cherish my existence
I too shall cherish each penance
Every each one that brought me here
For me to ponder thereafter
And let me look upon these days

As if it was gloriously hazed
Even though some may disagree
But to me
It is mine to say and do
So I shall not leave it up to you

To say what is mine to take
Or what is mine to break
As within each and glorious days
Even though there is always some haze
Yet all is worthy of a place

Deep within this long and lonely passage

Zed Ezekiel, M.i.N.d.B.l.o.G. 2005