Have you ever been so bored that you are bored of feeling bored? Well that is pretty much where I am right now. I am tired of feeling bored and yet am too bored to be doing anything but feel bored. Basically a continuous loop of boredom. So here is an entry purely dedicated to boring feelings that one inevitably has and things one does to kill boredom. Was minding my own business in a little corner of KLCC glued to free WIFI surfing the net when it struck me. I told myself Zed there is definitely more to life then this. Really? I ask myself. Sure really. What?
Well I was playing golf with this fella and he was telling me about his flight training to get his flying license. That’s pretty cool. Flying. It cost about RM 25,000 to join a club, and that would get you started with the flying lessons. But then he said it was fun only for about five months and then he realized that he doesn’t really have the time anymore. So it has been almost a year and he still have not secured his license.
Okay.
How about diving? Well I do have a lot of friends who dive. But I can’t swim.
Okay.
Golf? Well I am pretty good at this, at least good enough to hold my own and play a bet off my handicap. But it has been a few years, and sometimes the excitement of getting a birdie is shrugged off by the fact that it is often a fluke that I couldn’t repeat if my life depended on it and to top it all off my putting kinda sucks right now. Shot almost a hundred at Hyatt over the weekend, so am back to the range.
Okay.
Getting fit? How about building an Adonis-like body sculptured with six-pack abs and biceps to go? Well, frankly this is something that I would love to do. However my Fitness First membership is rotting away and all I am doing is paying my fees every month to make me feel better about myself. Someday perhaps. Maybe tomorrow. That is what I tell myself every day, maybe tomorrow.
Okay.
Futsal? Getting old and running around in shorts is unbecoming.
Okay.
Chicks? I am definitely not bored of this, but am taking a break. Too needy and too much work. This time it is about me and me only. I have decided to take a turn for the worst and be a selfish bastard. So am keeping an eye out but inadvertently this will be a good fall-back plan.
Okay.
How about working harder? You gotta be kidding! Next!
Okay.
Friends? Actually I am tired of people. It used to be one of my great interest to get to know people and understand what makes them tick. It still is to some extend but more on a manipulative manner. People are selfish. It’s always about what’s in it for them. Every step consciously or otherwise is always about their selfish needs and wants. I have spent a lifetime fulfilling this and it has reach a point where I have turned it around and use it to my advantage. Sad? Well we all do it to ourselves and far be it from me to go out and change the world. We are all suckers and it is only a question of when our guards will fail us one day and we will have that “Oh my god! What have I done!!” moment. So friends are just people waiting for that moment and I’ll be the one ending up saying “I told you so”. We never learn, and that is what makes the world go round. Like they say, a sucker is born every minute.
Okay.
How about a night out for drinks? I am actually trying to get on the wagon and the last few outings without alco feels stupid. Babysitting a bunch of drunkards isn’t what I would consider a night out. Also feel very much left out. Besides if you are not drinking have you noticed that non-alcoholic drinks are really not very high on many clubs list? It’s not like you can get “teh-tarik” in the middle of La Bodega. So after three bottles of Perrier a man does wonder if its time to call it quits.
Okay.
Anything else?
How about reading? Well I just got myself a copy of Narnia and am into the first few chapters. Will wait for the movie.
Okay.
Blogging? In the short span of my blogging days I have seen some blogs start and some bloggers quit. So I shall pace myself with this and see how long it’ll last. The initial gusto is beginning to wear off and I am beginning to feel that perhaps being The Lord of the Blog may not be a part of my not so distant future.
Some bloggers have been blogging away for the last two years and are still going strong while others have wilted away right in front of my very eyes. Looking at some of the impressive sites out there I have resigned to the fact that I shall not want the attention anyway. If my life is all about waking up in the morning wondering what the heck I am going to write about today I might as well get paid for it.
Okay.
How about being the couch potato that I am so good at? Staring mindlessly at a tube that tells you what to think and when to think? Thanks to the recent holidays I did have an overload of TV-rays and am also taking a break from this mindless activity. In fact thanks also to cheap pirated DVD’s most of the movies have not gone unnoticed and while I could almost hear the voices from the sacrilegious few that dares say that I propagate the sale of pirated stuff I blame it squarely on the pirates. I am merely a victim of kiasu-ness and our infamous “tidak apa” attitude that I have grown so fond of.
Okay.
While I light up my next ciggy and thank all the tobacco companies for their valiant fight against the pits of selling these addictive cancer sticks I ponder. Maybe what I need is a change. This predictable days have become exactly that – predictable. Should I be thankful for all that I have? Of course! But being human and bored maybe it is time I unfold the sails and chart the waters beyond. I know what I know and that is perhaps the problem.
It is time to take that plunge and for once not know what to expect.
Okay.
Bye-bye banal days for I shall leave you to seek the unknown and let my fate be in God’s hands while I swim in his cesspool of beings trying to understand the why’s and the how and hope that one day when I die I can tell myself that I have done all I can and changed all I can and I have left this world slightly better then when I came into it.
Don’t wish me luck for I believe not in it, but wish me Bon Voyage for I intend to enjoy this passage of mind and shall seek not enlightenment but comprehension.
(Zed’s Note: Bloody drama-king!)
