Remember my young friend there are three things that will bring you down, and only one that will bring you up.
I looked at my old friend and thought oh crap here we go again. No he is not an old friend as in he has been my friend for a long time, he is old; literally. I have friends of all ages where some are wise, while others perhaps a bit too full of vice. However I have learned not to judge as it really isn’t up to me to be all knowing and one that decides upon others. Anyway I looked at him and said fine I shall give you this one old man, go ahead take the next half hour of my life and lets see if it’s worth it. I lighted my dying cigar and waited.
So he went on.
First Zed, never trust a person that compliments you all the time. There is something they wish from you that you may not want to part with. A man (or even a women perhaps) full of compliments has more to them then just words. Compliments should be far apart and sincere. Watch out my friend as this person will bring you down. You shall forget your weaknesses as you float in the cushion of praises and you will be vulnerable one day. This is when you will never know what hit you.
This kinda makes sense to me so I nodded my agreement and he continued.
Also, only let someone betray you once and only once. The rights to your friendship must be unconditional, but never let that change the fact that betrayal no matter how small or how insignificant - is betrayal nonetheless. This means that once they betrayed you, they must no longer be within your inner circle. Keep them as a friend but don’t trust them. Of course in return you must never betray a friend. Irregardless of how tempting it can be, never betray a friend. The world is far too small and life too short for a man to be living watching his back, and miss out on the joys of looking forward.
On this I had to ask why does one have to be so harsh? Why not a second chance? He looked at me and said. A second chance? A second chance only means that they get to betray you again and this time it might not be insignificant anymore. Loyalty is neither bought nor sold my friend - it is bred.
I am not sure if I could agree but he looked at me as he drew in his Cohiba Singlo and said by the way never trust anyone that says “Trust me”. If they have to say it, then they don’t really mean it. I asked him if that is his third philosophy and he laughed. No that was just a sidebar. So I smiled and said then it’s not three things my brother, it is three and a half! We both laughed a bit and fell silent almost at the same time.
We watched a crowd of beautiful ladies walk in with a noisy chatter as they took the table not far away from us. They gave us a quick look and I felt very un-cool. It’s like hanging out with my dad, but hey they might think that he is a rich Datuk and I am his protégé! I might be able to use this as I thought to myself and smiled. One of the girls must have thought I was smiling at her and she smiled back. Ahh… a prospectful evening it might be after all. My friend and I exchanged knowing glances.
I was still quite curious about his third point so I just kept quiet and waited. And then he asked me. Have you loved a women that you will do anything for her and no man will stand in the way of your feeling? I nodded. What happened he asked? Well she left me.
That is the point my friend. That wasn’t love, it was lust and you were thinking using your pride and your little brother (Zed’s Note: LOL we all know who this is!). A good women is a friend and a partner; not an object of desire. If you let your senses overwhelm you I promise you that you will enjoy the ride but you may not enjoy the ending as much. I looked at him and said well if you have never been on the ride then you will never know now will ya’.
He suddenly realized that age and wisdom has a difference. What he realized from his lifetime of making mistakes sometimes could not be taught and learned, one simply has to go through life and repeat the same mistakes to realize the truth behind it. We chat about the need to make mistakes and besides who wouldn’t want to make the mistake of shagging a hot bodacious babe just because it was lust? I wouldn’t miss it for the world and would jump right back in the saddle to do it all over again in a heartbeat! Here we compromised. You shall see what I mean my friend was all he said. I admit I don't really disagree, but to deprive my loins from the joys of women? Hey come on, there will be time enough to learn from that.
We chatted about irrelevant things which I shall not bore you with here and after a few more drinks and as the crowd begin to get loud I asked him. So what was the one thing that would make me successful?
He was obviously enjoying the attention and was basking in the fact that I asked. As with any old men they love the sound of their own voice and most of the time they relive their youth through you. So I gave him that out of respect, and the fact that he does help me a lot in what I do anyway. Selfish bastard that I am.
He looked at me and said well Zed you must learn to choose.
That’s it? Are you sure? Choose? That is your secret elixir to success? He smiled at my impatience and said do you want to let me explain or would you like to continue babbling away like a housewife whose husband just came home drunk with lipsticks on his collar? Okay, okay I said… so I settled down in my cozy chair and decided to shut up.
He has this to say.
All your life Zed you will be asked to choose. The difference between a man and a child is that a man chooses and lives the life that he chose. He then has to learn from the mistakes of his choice; and grow. A child? He looks at choices and expects others to either choose for him or choose only when he absolutely has to. You either decide for yourself or someone else will decide on your behalf. If you choose for yourself then you have the luxury of learning from your own choice, but if you let someone else choose for you then all you have is the pain of regret for not having chosen what you really wanted. Choosing and learning will teach you a lesson, but regret? All you will get out of regret is remorse and a heart full of hatred simply because you let others rule your life. So making your own choice will be the first step in growing up, else you will always be a child at the mercy of others around you.
Life is a series of choices Zed. Everyday you need to choose. What to wear, to work or perhaps even to play, what food you like, which direction to take in the course of your work, which women is better, they all come is a series of choices that you have to make. Yes, you may make some bad decisions or even some decisions too late, but only when you choose you will know whether you have made the right decision of not. This is the foundation of learning.
Wow… I felt that he was being a bit dramatic but I could see the truth behind what he just said. So I leaned forward and asked him, so my friend what have you chosen today? More out of jest then anything else.
He too leaned forward and said “Zed, I chose to save a friend from a lifetime of regret”.
