The lights begin to fade.It was dusk and I could hear the mosquitoes humming in my ear as I make my way through the thick brush. The notion of the sun setting in the mountains really is just a myth as far as I am concerned at this point. In the dense rain forest it is already quite dark and I lighted my torch lights just in case. There was ten of us and one guide; so eleven souls. Four guys and the rest girls from our hiking and camping club and we intended to make it up and back from Gunung Tahan in ten days. We have another group of fourteen guys that should be done in seven days. They will leave later and should be passing us some time tomorrow. I was hiking ahead of everyone looking for a good place to camp. We should have arrived at the camping ground an hour ago.
The walk have been excruciating and slow. The fitness training we went through before we started this hike probably helped but didn’t have the effect that I expected. I was hoping that the daily jogs we did would at least prepare us for the ordeal, it didn’t. As we tracked the jungle paths laid ahead we have no idea how far or how long we have to go before we arrive to our campsite. The groaning and swearing of everyone could be heard probably miles ahead as we use our final ounce of energy and keep putting one feet ahead of the other. One of the guys, Bob is way overweight and is clearly regretting the decision to join us on the hike. Well he does have a mean spirit and I hope that would be enough.
I could see some clearing ahead. The dense jungle was opening up welcoming us not unlike into a small corner of paradise. A stream making the gushing sound that is music to my ears flows down the slopes back into the dark jungle. I shouted to the rest and could hear cheers of celebration and loud groans of relief.
I needed to start a fire and begin dinner. Cooking is an important part of camping and I find it fun. The basic necessities is all you have and good cooking means no one throws up. I dumped my bags and walked around looking for if there is a fireplace left behind by any previous campers. This is usually the best place to start a fire as some of the wood may still be around and the camping ground is soften in.
Just by the stream I saw a couple of small rocks and an extinguished fire. I touched the stones; it’s cold. The last group must have passed here quite a while back since the next camping grounds are a good day’s hike away they would have to leave very early this morning. There were still some wood left by the fire. I smiled.
With the fire starter which is really a fancy name for the piece of white gunk I lighted the fire back up. I have my gas burner but I would use it only on a wet day. When it didn’t rain its better to use wood. The food would not have that weird taste you get from burning gas. The rest of the gang arrived noisily. Chattering away and with Bob still cursing they headed straight to the stream to wash up, with me just in time to warn them to head downstream. I didn’t need any biological waste in my food tonight thank you.
We were on day three of our hike and I could sense that everyone have lost the initial enthusiasm that kept us going the first day. We just wanted to get this over with. The peak is still a day and a half away. The guide mentioned that the hike tomorrow is more of the same. Climbing hills and hiking along slithering tracks as we slowly ascend the mountain. The cooling jungle smell is refreshing but the long walks punishing. My foot is screaming murder me as I prepared dinner. The rice is bubbling away and I could hear the girls giggling in the distance.
Then she walked over to me. Nita.
Her hair wet and walking barefooted she winced as she stepped on a couple of stones. I looked at her and made a funny face. She smiled and I suddenly felt a rush of warmth all over. I accidentally knocked one of the pots and managed to stop it from toppling over. She laughed and sat next to me. Helping me to steady the pot I caught a hint of her perfume. She glanced over to the rest of the girls as if to ensure that we are alone. Bob was lying down and I wonder if he is still alive. You could hear the heavy breathing, and his red face looks like the back of a boiled crab in a fancy Chinese restaurant. I pointed to Bob with my eyes to Nita, she looked at him and snickered.
I have always wondered why she came on this trip. She is the most KL girlie girl you can find. The closest to a jungle she ever came before was probably driving by Lake Gardens on Jalan Parlimen. You know Madhuri Dixit? She looks like that. She has a smile that will melt any man. She melted mine.
I am amazed how good she smells a hundred miles from civilization after two days into the jungle with no showers. I held her hand gently as I lifted to cover on the pot to see how my rice was doing. Then we heard footsteps. We turned around and saw Mack coming out from between the trees. He has a big smile on him. He showed me a bark and said that the guide picked it out for him. Apparently it’s Sarsi, the cordial drink we make it actually from a tree back. He asked me to boil it and add some sugar to the juice. Cool.
We all sat around the fire with three pots cooking rice and two mess-tins heating up the Instant Rendang we brought along. I told Mack to go wash another mess-tin to boil the bark. I really wanted to be alone with Nita actually and gave her a sly smile.
I have always wondered what is it that she saw in me. She is gorgeous and could have any guy on campus or even off. Yet, we spent most of the time shagging away in hidden parts of the campus. I was young, foolish and horny. The relationship we had was physical. I was in lust. She may not have been my first love but she was definitely my first lust. We had fun - lots and lots of fun.
However, I never really encouraged her to come along these hiking trips knowing how much of a town girl she is. The sight of a rat sends her scrambling back from Damansara all the way to Shah Alam with an immediate bout of food poisoning. I have been on several excursions sans Nita and all I brought back was pictures and tales of our adventures. Maybe that caught her interest.
I can tell that she is going through hell. But not once did she complained. This really bugs me. In KL she will bitch for a good twenty minutes when I am late. She have been behaving really well all throughout the trip that I am like a nervous baby bear trying to break into a bee’s nest for the first time. She might explode at any time, and I need to be ready. I was of course extra nice to her too. We were really one of the more spoken about couple. As we didn’t really hide our affections on campus we do attract quite a bit of attention. In my head all I could think of is being able to look at the guys and shout Suckers!!! I was proud. Proud of my girl and my conquest yet bewildered as to why.
Why was she with me? Insecurity didn’t even begin to spell my feelings.
It was the same insecurity that drove her away. That is what young couples do. Drive each other away. I have sometimes thought of Nita. The what ifs and the what could have been. But as most would say, things happens for the better. If I knew then what I know now well it might have been different.
I did ask her after we broke up why she came with me on the trip. Her answer? It was the biggest sacrifice she knew at that time to prove to me that she really loved me and help me get over my issues. Being naive, I asked again why is it that she loved me. All I got from her was a bewildered look and a shrug. She said you will never understand. Zed you will never get it. I didn’t then.
I do now.
(Zed’s Note: So blogaholics tell me all about it. All about your first love, your first lust even your first time if you want to! No holds barred just spill it like you mean it…)
