“Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed”

WEARY with toil, I haste me to my bed
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head
To work my mind, when body’s work’s expir’d:
For then my thoughts—from far where I abide—
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see:
Save that my soul’s imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee, and for myself no quiet find.

William Shakespeare (1564–1616). The Oxford Shakespeare: Poems.

Can’t sleep. Not new. Been that way since time in memorial. Just a night person. Well and good. So be it. Anyway, here I am contemplating the day during the night, and wishing night when it is day. Sleep I can’t, yet awake I am tormented. Well?

This is a good time to stop reading if you are actually looking for some deep insights that might be making any sense. Fair warning has been given. Heed or proceed please only at your own risk.

I had an interesting conversation today.

It was about relationships. How it begins and inevitably how it often ends. Everyone is searching, and while it may make sense to look for the qualities one thinks makes a man or a women, it is also the same qualities that ends a relationship. Man seeks for a women that is caring? He then gets overwhelmed with exactly the same “care” that turned into a ball and chain and ends up having to make an excuse for an exit. She looks for a cool guy and one that is good looking. She ends up hating every moment that he is out on his own, because she knows that he is crowded with so many “other” women exactly because he is cool and good looking! She ends up suffocating the relationship – ending it nonetheless.

Why? Why do we seek for qualities when what we really need is company, conversation and congeniality in a person. Is there more? Sure there is more to a relationship, but it all boils down to two questions.

Two questions? Only? Yes!

The first?

Where are we now, and can we stay in this phase? I just met you. It has only been a few month. I like you, and we agree that we have “chemistry”, but can we not go to the next level yet? But can we still get in bed now? No? Why? Oh really? Okay. Well… we all know where this relationship ended.

Or perhaps it’s a yes! Okay lets get into bed, then the question arises again. Can we move to the next level? No? Why? Well if you went into bed with me that easily, I am not sure I wanna hang around. So really how many guys have you been to bed with? Huh? So many? Wow? It was really nice being with you, but can we just be friends? Hah!

The second?

Where are we heading? We "love" each other and we seem to get along well. Our friends agree and so does our family. It has been two years and I need to know if we are heading into something more serious? Really? Why? Don’t you love me? Marry me! Marry me! The words screams in her head, and he never understands why. Why my dumb bloke of a friend? Why you ask? Because it has been two years you nitwit zigouwit.

(Zed's Note: Yes, I made the word up. You can stop checking the dictionary already! Sheesh...)

The moral of this story?

Absolutely none. I am surprised you made it all the way here!

Now I am trying to get back to sleep. Shhh… be quiet.